


Gold

by courtnikki



Series: Metallic Love [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, Werewolf Remus Lupin, Young James Potter, Young Lily Evans Potter, Young Love, Young Remus Lupin, Young Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:40:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28935672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/courtnikki/pseuds/courtnikki
Summary: Time is of no importance when your young and strangely stupid.Tamara Nott threatened the balance of life within Sirius Black. One girl from a long line of pure bloods and death eaters. But a girl who he could always look for in the sky. But would this star he always found stay bright or like everything lately between the two would it dim into nothingness.***Book I:Sirius Black fanfic ***This book is for a mature audience. Content containing foul language, sexual themes, depression theme and violence
Relationships: Sirius Black/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Metallic Love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122257
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> This is book one of my Metallic Love Series. Each book will be focused on one main character of the Harry Potter universe. This has been posted on multiple other sites as well. 
> 
> With that being said the stories are my own. These stories have not been edited and no mature audience/spoiler warnings will be written in.   
> This is the only warning that some scenes of the Harry Potter books will be mentioned and mature content as well. 
> 
> But I am accepting of all thoughts and fan art of the stories being told. 
> 
> Thanks.   
> Court Nikki
> 
> Below is original Prologue. 
> 
> —
> 
> Time is always going. It never stops to think of what is going around it. Never ponders what may come. It just keeps going, life mirroring it. 
> 
> As soon as your born it seems like an hourglass is tipped upside down and the sand runs as slow or as fast as it wants to. It never gets stuck from getting from the top to the bottom, it just keeps going. 
> 
> People guess it is all they know to do with anything time or life throws at them. To just keep going. 
> 
> But to Tamara Nott life was always to dreadfully slow and tedious. Time would tick by painfully slow. Well it was that way until someone shook the hourglass of her life. 
> 
> A good long healthy shake that stirred and ruined everything. But at the same time her world was tossed around, it seemed so right. Sirius Black seemed so right.
> 
> ——-

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."  
– E.E. Cummings

Summer 1971

The sun blazed off the dark concrete on a very humid summer day in England. It's rays scorched anyone unfortunate to rest under it. A dark Victorian home not helping provide any shade and making it damn near impossible to rest comfortably outside on the back patio. 

To think it probably was cooler in the home than outside even as people kept entering. Regal men and women with some children in tow. Elves scurried around trying to accommodate all of the people. Too many people for the introverted girl's liking. That's why she stood outside. Plus she didn't have to make a good impression if she was outside away from the judging eyes and little whispers. 

Lemonade sat besides her on the table in a large glass pitcher. She had tried earlier to savor the tart drink but the more she tried to taste it, the more it seemed to make her throat close in on itself. Ice already melted and its appeal lost to the taste buds and the thirst quenching qualities that were needed. 

Flies buzzed around, the constant noise and irritation starting to pester the young girl. Sweat coated her porcelain skin, her auburn hair stuck to her with only random loose curls frizzed out of place. Her mother insisting that she keep as dignified as she could with the wretched weather. Her mothers voice always making an unwelcome interruption to her thoughts. 

You must be a proper young lady at all times. Our family has a reputation to uphold.

The girl wished sometimes she was not born into her family. Especially at functions like this. Stupid grown up business meetings. That was the trouble with all the families that ever came to these things, it was a business. But besides the stupid meeting she had one other reason to stand in the scorching heat.

The young girl kept her green eyes peeled open. It had been several weeks since she had last seen him. Several weeks since the last hug and the girl was missing him dearly. His hugs were like pure sugar to a person craving all the candy in the world. Or heroin to a junkie looking for a fix. She might have been a addict. An addiction she was more than happy to fulfill with simple hugs and casual conversation. 

Since the age of two they had been friends. They grew up the same, the same principles to follow and hardly any other kids to get to know and play with. Well that was how she remembered it. The only time she saw any other kids besides her older brother Thaddeus was at these business meetings and at a finishing girls school. 

But soon things would change, in several weeks she would be leaving the family home. She had received her acceptance letter to one of the greatest schools only several days prior. A special school for people like her. People who may have when they were mad made fires in their bedrooms. I mean she couldn't have been the only one who did that without a match. 

Hogwarts was the chance to get a new independence from her parents and to make friends. She had never had the chance to make decisions for herself, she had a reputation to uphold according to her parents. 

"Tamara"

She felt her mother's hand rest on her shoulder. Her identical green eyes looking down at her. 

"I'm going inside to greet the guests. You stay here and keep yourself busy. Don't leave the manor property. Understood?"

" I will do as I am told mom." 

It rolled off her tongue like silk, so easy the phrase. Like she had said it constantly. But almost everyday she has to please her parents, to be a sheep and not a wolf. Sometimes her mind screamed in agony to be the wolf. 

Proper young ladies obeyed their parents. Probably was written on page one of one of her finishing school books, right by marrying a pureblood proper man and having pureblood kids. 

She felt the butterflies flapping hard in her stomach as soon as she saw him. His black hair hung in his eyes but she still saw the little smirk that plastered on his face when he saw her. His walk became a run as he bolted towards her. 

The next minute she was being engulfed in a hug and spun. Her pastel blue dress swaying with them off the grass. Her lungs crushed for air under the bear hug as she made a small gasp. That hug was soon to be immediately stopped by one force that stole all the happiness and joy out of the world. 

"Sirius put her down this instance. We don't swing around proper young ladies."

The scowl on Walburga Black was plastered always on her face. She has never seen a smile in place of it. Tamara was even unsure if she had any teeth at all. She probably had sharp pointy teeth because the lady was an absolute demon from the pits of hellfire. Just nickname her the Devil's Mistress. 

Tamara's feet we placed softly back to the hard ground. Her body being taken out of the captive embrace as he grinned at her and winked. His gray eyes shining with pride of his latest disturbance to his mother. He always found ways to go against his own mother and as of lately it was every and any chance he got. 

"See mother, no harm. I missed Tam." 

" That doesn't give you the right to put your hands on her. Unless you want to start a proper courtship of this young lady which I would agree to. Maybe that would calm you down a notch or two. I swear Sirius your gonna give me gray hair and wrinkles." 

"Too bad your already there", Sirius whispered to the girl. A little giggle leaving her lips. Thankfully Walburga wasn't engrossed with the two at the moment as her eyes pinpointed on something else. 

"That's not necessary right away Lady Black. Maybe once they get a little older then we can discuss it." 

Her mother's voice stopped the interaction immediately as Walburga followed her into the house. Any inclination of wanting to yell more at her son completely gone. As she looked over at Sirius her arm was being pulled in the direction towards the huge Evergreen trees on the property. 

The forest engulfed the two as they walked down a dirt path careful to not trip over roots raising from the ground. They could have walked it blindfolded for as many times as they went there. 

Green branches cascaded down and around the two, the sky only slightly visible through peeks in between the high branches above them. Bird's chirped and small animals seemed to take notice of the two as they scurried to hide. Her eye's kept on the boy in front of her as he clasped his hand around hers careful to not lose her as he headed to his destination. 

She knew he was headed to the small waterfall area. It was a place sacred to the two once they were old enough to find it. It was a place others wouldn't go snooping to find them. Which knowing Sirius Black was a good thing as you never knew what he was capable of. Even at his young age he had made a reputation of being different to the normalcy of their families. He was the recluse, the bad apple that was picked too late from the tree. Not only bruised but being ugly to others around them. But still to Tamara it was the sweetest one on the tree itself. It's bruises an small problem that could be ignored. 

"Damn its hot, I'm surprised their not cooking you for dinner with all those layers your wearing. Stupid fancy clothes I tell you not even worth it on a day like this."

Tamara looked at her pastel sky blue dress. It was adorned with lace and had long sleeves that cinched at her wrists tightly. It's modest petticoat was extremely old fashioned for the seventies. But her mother had a problem with making her a living porcelain China doll. Her stockings were stuck to her legs and the boots she wore gave her blisters. 

" I don't think I would taste very good Sirius." 

Sirius stopped at the shimmering water. His hands stripped away everything except his shorts. He smirked back at her as she turned her head down to blush. He had to know by now that he made her always blush, painting her cheeks pink with a natural watercolor like one of those renaissance painters.

"Oh Tam I don't think that so, you always look so tasty." 

He grabbed her shoulders and leaned into her. She felt the butterflies again flapping away. She felt the need to puke right in that very spot. He leaned closer until she felt a warm wet tongue lick the side of her face. Up to down in one solid swoop. 

"Ewww. I'm gonna have cooties now. Black cooties." 

She watched as the young boy carelessly jumped into the crystal blue water, his splash muffled by the crashing of the waterfall behind him. Several droplets of water hitting her face as his face came back to the surface. 

"Tam, you should be happy it's my cooties. Well I wouldn't want you to have anybody else's cooties on you. You are going to marry me one day and I don't like to share." 

"Oh is that so? I thought courtship was a huge no in your mind."

The raven haired boy looked up at her. Water droplets falling from his bangs as his eyes stayed on her, his face serious in that moment.

"Won't have a courtship Tamara, you will simply fall in love with me."

"You wish", the girl scoffed as she watched him swim around. To that he splashed around carelessly aiming water at the girl. 

"Why don't you come in, the water is great." 

Tamara started to remove her shoes and dress until she was down to a proper amount of swimming clothes. Her feet seemingly to carry her to the edge of the bank as jumped into the water with a huge crash to the surface. 

The coolness so refreshing compared to the summer sun. Small tingles were felt on her skin as she kept swimming around the boy.

"You never swim with me", his eyes wide as he watched the girl. Thankfully she didn't notice or care that he stopped breathing the moment she ran to the water.

"Well I thought it was a great time as ever to try new things. I mean with Hogwarts in several weeks and all." 

Sirius shrugged as he watched the girl keep swimming around him. He watched her long red hair drag behind her as if it was a lily pad on top of the water's surface. He would have loved to take a picture of her like this, carefree and happy to throw all the concerns of the world away for just one moment. He worried about her having to put on a serious disposition all the time to keep up with a perfect image. Too bad she didn't realize that she was perfection just the way she was. 

"Your going to Diagon Alley with us right?"

The girl stopped swimming around him and her green eyes stared at him as she smiled. It took everything for him not to grin whole heartedly from ear to ear. 

"Yeah, of course we are. I need to look at brooms and quidditch stuff." 

"They don't put first years on the team and besides it's a good way for us to see the other kids we are going to be in classes with." 

"Yeah I guess. But your not allowed to talk to other boys. I'm still your future husband." 

" I guess that means I am talking to all of them then." 

She splashed at the boy as a huge grin stuck to her face. Jealousy bubbled in the mind of the young boy, he was worried about this. Before now she wasn't allowed to be around too many other boys and once others saw the beauty in this girl they would circle her like a lion with it prey. 

She felt him swim around her. Hands on her shoulders as he dunked her under the water. He let her swim back up to the surface as he spun her around. 

"Let's do dares", the boy smiled as he looked at her frustrated face. "Or are you chicken." 

"Okay. We can do that", Tamara grinned. "But I'll start with the dares. I dare you to jump off the waterfall." 

without a second thought boy swam to the hill by the falls and started to climb the steep rock edge. Several minutes had passed as he got to the top. He screamed down at her,

"This is kid stuff." 

He took a running start as he leaped off the hill. His body bundling itself in a ball as he hit the water with a crash. Water going everywhere around him as he went under the surface. 

He didn't appear right away as she would of hoped. Her eyes darted to look for the boy. The boy who as of lately made her flustered. This was a new sensation for her, something she was slightly scared of. To add on top of that feeling she now was afraid that he had drowned.

"Sirius where are you?", she yelled. Her lip trembling as her eyes darted everywhere. The water was still around her as she looked. 

Great did she kill the boy before their futures were even suppose to start. Every possible horrible ending scattered into her mind at warp speed and her vision spotted as she tried to think straight. 

"Sirius, please where are you? Don't do this to me please", her green eyes started to water. She blinked away as many tears as she could. 

"I'm over here princess", his voice yelled past the waterfall opening. The crash of the constant stream of water barely making her voice even be heard.

She swam over to him, her chest still trying to calm down. It stung as she went under the falls into the opening behind it. His smile fell instantly from his face as she looked up at him. He immediately crossed the distance and held her arms in his hands. 

"What's wrong?", his hand reached out to get a stray tear that fell. 

Her face felt hot and her eyes continued to water as she looked up at the boy's gray eyes. He was not joking for once as a serious expression peered down at her.

"I thought you got hurt, I thought you were dead and it was all my fault. I dared you to do it and I knew you would because you never turn down a dare. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to get hurt. I didn't want to lose you." 

He wrapped his arms around her body pulling her into a tight hug. He nuzzled his nose into her hair. It smelled of lilac, a smell that he would get whiffs of occasionally growing up close to the girl. A smell he was rather fond of and kept candles with the scent so he could get lost in her smell at home. 

"Your never gonna lose me, your stuck with me forever. Like I'm never gonna lose you either."

She peered back up at him as he smiled at her. He twirled a wet lock of her hair around his finger as he tried to make it curly again. 

"So I guess it's time for me to give you a dare?"

"Sirius we really don't have to play this game if you don't want to."

"Oh but I do I have the perfect dare for you. But if your gonna chicken out then I guess I win."

His smug smile was back. He took the opportunity for her to think as he made circles around her in the water. He knew he was edging her on, this dare that would leave his mouth would prove that. 

She felt the water grow colder as she stood there unmoving waiting for the boy to say anything else. Her lips whispered back as if a crowd had come around the two and she only wanted him to hear. 

"Dare me Black."

Her bold behavior shocked the boy at first. She normally was shy and timid. Normally afraid to take any risk because of repercussion. But today something seemed to click in the girl. For starters she was swimming with him and not just putting her feet in like the lady she was suppose to portray. 

Maybe he was rubbing off on her. Maybe she switched bodies with him as he felt a little bit of blush creep it's way to his face. He could not let the girl ahead of him make him timid. 

"Well Princess Nott you could do something I know you definitely have never done before. Something that would be a first for both of us."

Tamara watched as he swam closer to her. She noticed the slight gulp in his throat. Sirius Black was nervous, she had never seen him nervous.

"Well Tamara, for your dare you could kiss me." 

Her eyes stared at the boy waiting for him to laugh. Maybe he was joking with her. His face never changed as he kept his eyes on her. But he wasn't, not even in the slightest.

"What if I'm bad at it?", the statement forced its way out of her mouth. 

She had heard from some of the other girls that went to finishing school with her. They would say the first kiss sucked. All messy and slobbery or so embarrassing for all of them. It wasn't like the ones she would read in her books, all romantic and sparking a love affair. They were only mere children after all.

"Well you don't know until you try", he cocked his head at her. "But it's okay if I win this game." 

She swam up to him, her eyes keeping to the blue of the water. Her face growing hot as she knew the inexcusable blush was making an appearance. Her body felt like lead weighing it down, frozen before the boy whose eyes stayed on her slightly shocked. She took a deep breath to calm herself. The air forcing into her lungs and threatening not to exhale out.

Her eyes came slowly up the body of Sirius until they looked at his. The girls at school had whispered things they always wanted in their first kiss. She racked all those ideas into one as she slowly approached the boy. 

Her one hand went to his bare shoulder as her other placed itself on the side of his face. His skin smooth under her fingertips. She urged him to lean in with her by pulling slightly on his shoulder. He complied as mere inches from her lips he said,

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

Her courage got the better of her as she closed the gap. Her pink lips pressed firmly against his. A moment or two passed as she could feel everything. Every little moment the two had shared has rushed by as memories in her head. 

His hand mimicking hers on her cheek. It seemed the small kiss sucked the breath out of her lungs that threatened only mere minutes before to not want to leave. She wondered if he felt the same as her or if this was just something he wanted to cross off his to do list. 

As they parted, his pupils were dilated she noticed as he seemed to regain the same breath she did. Her voice filled with more courage, as this year was the year she would show people she wasn't afraid. He made her not afraid. 

"I win Black."


	2. II

Days had turned to weeks which passed at a snail like slow rate. Tamara had fortunately made it until the very day she was to go get her supplies. The day also before her life would change forever. 

The Blacks were said to meet them around noon. This gave her plenty of time to think about what she was going to wear and get a good breakfast in. She knew her stomach definitely needed it as it burned and tried to push bile up her throat. She could not even remember what she had for dinner the night before as her body rejected its hunger suppression, her stomach making low growls of impatience.

The sun shone into her room illuminating everything but especially bouncing off a glass pensieve in the corner. A present from her mother's father as he would tell her that it was good luck to have one at your disposal. According to him many women in his family were accustomed to the mystics and seer qualities of life and some had actually been seers. But without the pensieve and keeping your memories literally bottled up if you were a seer it would drive you mad to not separate all the fortunes from the daily thoughts. Bad luck he would say. Tamara never used it as for one she wasn't a seer and for two it creeped her the hell out.

Sirius on the other hand would use it all the time because it gave him a rush of pure adrenaline. Even though it was still his thoughts and all. To these experiments she was shocked her mother even agreed to. Her mother would extract the memories for the kids to test the water of the pensieve. Well hopefully soon the two wouldn't require adult supervision as they would get their wands today. And thoughts after that were as ready as any disposal item to the pair. 

A green flowy shirt hulled itself across the room onto her bed as the young girl kept looking into her closet. She had finally decided on a long jean skirt to match the green summer shirt. Her mother definitely would oppose the outfit which made Tamara even more happy to wear it. She wanted nothing more than to throw more gas into the fire that was her mom's clothing choices. 

Well and she wanted to look somewhat presentable and cute as any twelve year old would for a certain black hair boy. A certain boy who haunted her day dreams and when she went to sleep. 

After the kiss several weeks prior she was over puppy love and full fledged smitten for the boy. She even had dreamed of their Hogwarts adventure as this would surely end up with them as a couple. 

Followed after their seven years at the school She wanted to get married and start a family of her very own. A love story so great even those in novels would be offended by it. He was to be her knight in shining armor always protecting her from any dragons or evil wizards that she had read in muggle books in private. Her parents would have her head of they knew about those. Anything muggle they would sure than hell cause a stink about. 

She rushed out of her room as she went down the mahogany stairs step by step at a rate which concerned her maid Lola. The elderly lady stood down at the bottom of the last step, her arms crossed and a serious expression on her lightly wrinkled face. 

"Miss Nott, you and I both know how clumsy you are? You really shouldn't be in such a rush. Remember when you sprained your ankle last summer down those same steps. " 

The maid held the girl as she slowed down to the bottom of the stairs her face scrunching up in an emotion not well know to the girl. 

"We also both know if you don't get back up those stairs to your bedroom again your mother will have your neck. What even are you wearing?"

"You don't like it Lola?", the girl teased. She knew Lola like her mother hated the "new fashion" and would make it their pursuit to make the girl know that. 

"It makes you look not kept up my dear. Don't you want to make a good impression to the locals down in Diagon Alley? You have the Nott name to hold into consideration. Even your brother is well groomed and dashing this morning. Plus ladies need to keep a proper presentation, you know that."

Lola's arm snuck around Tamara's back pushing the young girl back up the stairs. Like clockwork, the housekeeper picked an outfit and forced her into it. She also made a huge stink on the condition of her hair. Making comments about it looking as she just woke up with it, which she did. 

After proper dressing and styling and a hearty breakfast, the Nott family minus the patriarch made their way to the stretch of shops of Diagon Alley. 

Owls hooted and children swarmed the stretch of street as families walked from store to store to get the necessary supplies needed. The smell of sweet chocolate filled the nose of Tamara Nott as she looked everywhere to figure out where is was coming from. Finally a boy probably a little older than her was seen sipping a steaming cup of what she assumed was something chocolate. 

Besides the drink she was transfixed on his bright ginger hair. Besides herself not many others around her had red hair so it was always a good thing to see others. She caught his eye as a small smile spread to her lips as he past her. 

"I think we should see where Walburga and the boys are before we head into any shops. Right Tamara?"

Her mother gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze as her eyes remained open to the Alley before them. Her brother seemed to already abandon the two as he was no where to be found. A voice like no other was shouting behind them. 

Walburga Black pushed the young Sirius Black as his feet had to make haste on the cobblestones. A even younger child was pulled by her other hand as his wide eyes looked at the crowd. Even though Regulus Black was to not be attending Hogwarts, the poor boy could never leave the eye sight of his over dramatic and hostile mother. One look at the boys said that they wished they didn't have to deal with their mother and Tamara was more the happy to say she was ecstatic her mother was Gretchen Nott. 

"Good Afternoon Walburga", her mother said as the family came closer. 

"Afternoon Gretchen", Walburga stammered out as she forced both boys to a stop, "We would have been on time if the filthy Mudbloods knew where they were going. Its a damn travesty to have to accommodate to them. I have never had to deal with that from the higher social standings of....."

Tamara's head instantly tuned the older witch out as she smiled at the boys. The youngest of the two making his way over to her as he hugged the side of her body. 

"Hey Reg. How is everything going?"

The boy looked up at her his eyes seemed to be glossed as he talked. 

"Fine. I am upset that I can't go to Hogwarts too. It sucks that I am stuck at home til next year. "

The girl pulled the boy tighter to her. She had wished he could come too but she knew it would be another year til that possible.

"I'm sorry. I will make sure to write to you though if you would like that."

The boy smiled as he shook his head. The group seemed to take move as the mothers talked and lead the children to the shops. 

Sirius fidgeted with his hands as they went from shop to shop not speaking too much unless asked questions from shop keepers. His eyes from time to time looking over at the ginger as she kept smiling at him. 

"Are you mad at me Sirius?", the girl questioned as they waited outside of Ollivanders. 

A line several families long was the last shop that was needed for the two. Their mothers and Regulus went across the Alley to pick up the robe orders that were placed previously. 

"No, why would you say a thing like that." 

"Because you seem to be ignoring me all day." 

"It's been a busy day and all. I think your just imagining things Tamara", he said back without a single other thought. 

The girl stared at the back of his head as he moved with the line in front of them. His hair was not so surprisingly messed up with just the right amount of perfect. He had the major tendency to run his hand threw it multiple times per day.

He seemed to be in deep thought as they reached the door to the shop. Dazed and confused to the world around him as he stared at every person passing by and every animal sound that was made. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her. 

The girl with beautiful auburn curls that cascaded down the middle of her back. Her eyes shined bright hunter green with gray outlines which could only be seen if you looked closely enough. She had on a huge smile at what he could describe as a pure ray of golden sunshine onto the world. This girl was something real special and unfortunately she didn't know it yet or was oblivious to it. 

She was very intelligent he knew that. Probably more than she gave herself credit for but he knew she wasn't the best at reading his thoughts and translating them. But this would benefit him as he was afraid for her to know that he had grown more than quite fond of her recently. 

"I know why your ignoring me Black."

Her voice peeked his interest from the other things around him. Maybe just maybe he wasn't as sly as he thought he was. His innermost courage got the better of him as he grinned at her. "Oh so you do Kitten."

"Kitten, seriously?", she stopped for a single second before pressing on. "Yeah, it may have to do with a certain kiss we shared at the waterfall or am I wrong?"

Sirius looked down at the girl as she kept her attention on his face, her eyes seeming to not blink. 

"Oh that little kiss. Nah that's not why I am so quiet. I am only doing it to see if I can pester the heck out of you today. Guess it worked right?"

Tamara's smile faltered as her eyes dropped to the cobblestones. She pushed back the emotion of sadness and disappointment. She should have known that he wasn't in love with her. 

First they were young and love probably was not the first on every pre teen boy's mind, with Sirius it was food and Quidditch. Secondly he was an absolute cute boy why would he even consider her as anything more than friend. She was plain, dull and slightly boring in her looks compared to the other girls she had met while in boarding school. Probably the same in Hogwarts too. She had no chance in hell with him.

Her eyes slightly glossed over with tears but she pushed them back as the shop bell dinged. The thick oak door was held open as Sirius and her entered. 

Different colored boxes, some slightly covered in a thin layer of dust filled the many shelves around the large room. A cashier's desk sat directly in front of them as a gentleman with shockingly bright eyes looked at them. His voice coming so smooth out of his mouth making the two jump a little. 

"Ahhh, well I was waiting on the day when I would see you two. How has your day been Mr Black and Miss Nott?"

"Fine", both kids stated at the same time as the man seemed to walk down one long isle full of boxes. His finger pointed to a small red box as he pulled it out. His finger tapped on the side of it. 

"Ah Mr Black. I know exactly this one to be your wand. A strong Ebony 14 inch long dragon heartstring core. The funny thing about ebony which leads me to believe this is perfect for you is that it fits people who are not afraid to be themselves. People generally with wands like this are strong in their beliefs, which I assume is definitely you Sirius Black. Well pick it up and give it a good flick."

The wand looked like it belonged to him as soon as it was grasped by his hand. It was different like he was as it sported many carvings and detailed shapes. As soon as he flicked it, sparks of light sprinkled out on the floor of the shop. The owner of the shop smiled as he looked at the pleased face of the young boy. 

"Perfect, one try and we found it."

Sirius looked smug as he placed the wand back into the box that was now on the front counter of the shop. The shopkeeper went back into the ends of certain shelves as he selected a black box. 

This would happen many times as the shop keeper kept at finding a wand for Tamara. Every one she tried out had upright refused her and either would sit dead into her hands or decide it wanted to smash something or cause a ruckus in the shop. 

"Feeling discouraged Kitten?", Sirius looked down at the girl as she looked at her feet. He noticed the small nod come from her head. 

"Maybe I am not even suppose to have I wand I guess."

"Oh rubbish, everyone has a wand for them", the shopkeeper came up as he placed a distinctly different box on the counter. He opened the box as a small wand sat inside. 

"So this very wand is a very different one", the shopkeeper stated. "This is a wand that I didn't get the pleasure of making but my father did. It was an experiment for him to do this, only few on these type of mixed wands exist." 

"What do you mean mixed?, the boy next to her stated.

"Meaning a handful were made by mixing cores. They are usually very temperamental but are extremely loyal to their users if they are paired correctly. This wand is made from Black Walnut which tends to go towards users who have good instincts and a good inner eye you could say. Not quite seers but as I know from her family she comes from a long line of seers and maybe some of that insight is in you. But the different part is that it was once made from a kneazle whisker which only proved to be slightly powerful but my father for some reason or another mixed it with a Thestral tail hair. This exact wand is 12 and a half inches long and as you see has a very different almost heart shaped end. Well child only one way to see if this works, give it a flick." 

Tamara picked up the wand in her hand. Its smooth design felt calming in her palm. Her body seemed to warm as she flicked the wand. A glow emitted from the tip as her face lit up. With her the face of the very curious shop owner was eyeing her in suspicion. 

"Perfect isn't it? Its nice to see a wand of that complexity go to a girl as yourself. Thestral as you know can only be seen by people who have witnessed death. Have you ever watched someone die before?"

Tamara's eyes shut as she remembered years ago holding her hand out and squeezing the wrinkled hand of her grandfather. She had been reading him a book as she felt his grip relax. His eyelids closed slowly as he smiled at her never to open again.

"Yes, my grandfather."

The shopkeeper nodded as he looked into the eyes of the girl. This peculiar girl who did not look like anyone he had ever seen before. She was rare just like her wand. 

"My father Tamara use to say that this wand would go to someone who would stop at nothing to protect those they loved. Some might even say give a part of their lives to those people. I can see you as one of those people, I can feel it in my heart you would do anything for anyone you loved. This wand waited exactly for the right owner and will be loyal to you right until you leave us all."

\----

"Well that wasn't at all ominous", Sirius eventually spoke as they sat eating licorice wands in front of the robe shop.

Her stomach was in huge knots as she held the delicate Ollivanders box in her lap. She tried to focus her attention on the cherry flavored treat currently in her mouth. Her chewing distracting her from thinking or grinding her teeth anxiously. At least it was a huge break for her nails on her fingers which were close to being bleeding nubs as it was. 

"So do you think I can touch it?" 

Sirius's hand shot out instantly to the box before she could even think, his hand inching closer to her wand. The wand she was so afraid to even touch now, the strange artifact that she had possession of. His hand made one fingertip of contact as a black spark seemed to jolt into his hand, his hand instantly retreating. 

"Bloody Hell", the boy cursed as he put his finger into his mouth. "Damn thing electrocuted me. Wonder if that's just something that happens to new wand owners. Go ahead touch mine now."

Sirius held his wand out, his giddy face lit up as he pushed it closer to her. 

"I'm not touching your stick."

Before she could protest it was slammed into her hand. Which it sat in, not doing anything except existing. She even gave it a flick and it gave one small spark. 

"Well that's great, you don't have any resistance from mine but yours wants to give me shock treatment. That's so swell", he scoffed as he looked at the box now closed on her lap. His wand was back to him as he pulled another licorice from the wrapper. 

"How long do you think our mother's are gonna be in there? Poor Reggie, I would have died like fifteen minutes ago."

Tamara shrugged as she pushed her black flats against a random silver wrapper in the alley way. Her thoughts were in constant battle with each other after the wand shop. 

On one side of her head she was thinking about the kiss and Sirius. The other side was about how Sirius as he even mentioned was not even thinking about any of it at all and the last and probably most logical is how she was the one bestowed with the weird wand. It would cement her complete persona of being a loner, different and a weird piece of wizarding society. If that encounter was anything to foreshadow future events than Hogwarts was not going to be all to good for her. 

"Are you okay?", Sirius's voice pulled her from the deep trance. His silver eyes gave her a faint glimpse of some hope as he looked at her. At least she would always have Sirius to fall back to as her friend. She already had one person at Hogwarts she could talk to and depend on.

"Fine. Just lost in thoughts. I reckon its just nerves over going to Hogwarts tomorrow."

She pushed her auburn hair out of her face slowly as he looked deeper at her worry lines. Moments like this he would love to be able to read minds because he knew that she was not only lying but would not tell him everything. She fully turned to him as he saw a small smile cross her porcelain face. 

"Well all will be good, I will be there with you every step of the way. We will find a good compartment on the Express and we will go into the castle hand in hand if you want to. Through thick and thin Kitten, your stuck with me."

"Merlin help you Tamara."

Regulus stood behind them as he shot an innocent smirk at his older brother. His hands stuck into his pockets as he tipped back and forth on his feet. Sirius pushed himself off the bench as he pulled Regulus into a brotherly hug, ruffling his hair everywhere. 

Their encounter stop suddenly as their mothers exited the shop, Walburga frowning even more as she put her hands on her hips. Tamara did have to admit in that moment Walburga not only looked scary as always but held a sophisticated elegance. Her black velvet dress clung loosely to her curves and hit just a little under her knees. Her black cloak seemed to float like it was on a cloud behind her. She did not show any wrinkles but she probably shouldn't either as she was young like her own mother. Her jet black hair was pulled tightly into a bun on her head and her face was done up to make her look like a perfect feminine villain that she was. 

At that point she looked over at her own mother as her gray mid calf length with touch of dark emerald lace dress sat perfectly on her. Her mother was curvy and anything she would wear would not hide that fact. Her cloak was identical to the other woman standing next to her. 

"That's why it took so long, you went shopping for yourselves too", Sirius stated as Regulus bit back a small laugh.

Her mother chuckled as she nodded but his mother scowled.

"Of course we did. We need to make a fine example dropping you off tomorrow of course. Everyone on the Platform will know that you come from the most loyal houses of Black and Nott. "

Tamara would think the woman in front of her had the biggest ego to showcase but that was normal behavior to those who lived in the pure blood families she was accustomed to. She had seen many times this when she grew up from all the women and men. Even her old babysitters, the Black sisters, held some sort of importance in who they were. It did though make her want to crawl into a deep hole and never come out as she watched some other people who were passing by stare at the group. 

"Well on that note, lunch anyone", Gretchen spoke as she grabbed her daughter's hand to head out of Diagon Alley. 

Lunch had gone smoothly at the Nott home with the Black family. Afternoon tea was set in the parlor as biscuits and tea were consumed casually as the discussion of Hogwarts and Tamara's different wand were finer points. Walburga actually paid a compliment to her as she said it was a good thing that her wand be loyal to her which Tamara found nice. But in Walburga charm she ended the statement saying that it wouldn't end up in dirty hands. 

Regulus went to find her brother as the youngest Black had a huge fascination with him. Sirius and Tamara ended up going to her room to play a game of wizard's chess. A game that ended as Sirius tried multiple times to use his wand to no prevail to teach the pieces curse words like the one at his house. 

"Hey Tam, I got a question for you?"

Sirius sat on her couch in her room playing with a sketchpad and piece of charcoal. She had been interested in the star maps he was sketching down. One thing he was brilliant in was Astronomy but I guess with a family all named after stars and such he would be. 

"Yes Sirius."

"Did you like the kiss?"

A blush rose to her cheeks as she looked down. But she was caught as he snickered at her. 

"I will take that as a yes. Well if it makes you feel better I did too."

Sirius set down his art work as he smiled at her, he leaned close to her as a whisper forced itself out. 

"I would love to try it again."

His face hovered in front of hers as he leaned in slightly. Her head voluntarily nodding as he leaned in. His lips pressing gently into hers, a simple sweet kiss as innocent as it could be. 

As they parted he kissed her cheek, the voice of his mother being heard in the background beckoning him to get going. 

"Gotta go Kitten, see you tomorrow", the boy spoke as he headed for the door. Before he exited he turned, "Dream of me. I will find you in my dreams always in the stars."

Tamara smiled as he closed the door and footsteps were heard heading downstairs. Her back crashed into the plush red velvet couch she sat on. A fit of schoolgirl giggles coming from her. His sketchpad sliding off the back of the couch as it slid behind the couch oblivious to the girl.


	3. III

A family dinner was warranted by Gretchen Nott as several courses came and went from the long dark wood table they all sat at. 

Tamara ate in silence as she listened to the scrapping of silverware on china plates from others around the table. A fine roast with potatoes and other vegetables were cooked to perfection. She was going to miss her own house elves cooking. They had come accustomed to her likes and dislikes. 

In that moment she didn't realize until now how much she was going to miss. From Lola to the select guards and butlers if he house. The ones that would entertain her with conversation and not look at her like a bug they stepped on.

Her room would be missed as she spent a majority of her time in there. Reading, painting or writing to herself all tasks of sweet serenity to the girl. Lately when she didn't have other work to be done she would take books from the family library on legilimency and occulmency and try to master them. Which she was taking good baby steps in. 

She would miss her family except for her brother who would probably be so far up her arse that she wouldn't get away from him. He always took the protector role a little too seriously. His friends especially Lucian Malfoy never let her have too much fun. She still didn't know how the heck one of her old babysitters Narcissa Black had even begun to fancy him. 

Her mother would be most of all missed she believed as her mother had always been strict to her but showed compassion as well. She always made time for Tamara and if she needed her mother she was only a couple of rooms away. But being in Hogwarts would not be case for this now. 

"Missus, would you like some desert tonight?" 

Tamara's eyes looked down besides her at the Nott's kitchen elf Milly whose big saucer eyes stared back at her. 

"Sure of course Milly", the girl stated as Milly plated in front of her a creme brûlée. Tamara had enjoyed the dessert the last time they went to France and the elves learned quickly to make it on special occasions for the girl. 

"Milly hopes Missus Nott great success and time in Hogwarts. Milly knows Missus will be a great witch." 

"Thank you Milly."

"Milly you are excused now", her father said as they all started to eat their desserts. 

The elf quickly scattered away as she heard the voice of her father. Tamara knew her father scared all of the servants in the house except for Lola who practically raised her father when he was a boy. 

Her father Tiberius Nott came from a family who was the very definition of wealthy, privileged but also extremely feared by many. Like her own mother's family, the Nott family had been in a very long line of pure blood supremacy. Her grandfather Cantankerus Nott even wrote a book about it. The book Pure Blood Directory had made an impact in the Wizarding world by establishing the sacred twenty eight families who had some pure blood pedigree. Some unfortunately were not practicing the original thoughts of the book. If her grandfather was still alive she knew some families would be excommunicated right from the book. 

Tamara could feel the dark blue eyes of her father on her as she finished the last spoonful of the sweet custard. His fingers tapped the smooth wood of the table as she looked up at him. 

For every time she had seen her father he always looked the same. His dark sandy blonde hair was slicked back and he always dressed as what expensive would look like. Thaddeus was an exact clone of him and also acted like her father as well. Slightly cold and all business when needed. He did show some affection to his youngest and only daughter, she was a diamond to him but he treated her like she was made of glass. 

"Tamara my dear. We need to have a talk in my office. Thaddeus you are to accompany us." 

Tamara's heart skipped a beat as nerves threatened to push dinner up. His office as she knew was off limits except for business. She was sure though that she was in trouble, perhaps he knew that she kissed a boy. She probably was as good as dead. 

The long hallway to his office was tedious to walk as her steps felt glued to the floor. Pictures of ancestors she had never met stared her down as she kept pace to her brother and father. 

Her father's office was pristine in appearance. Books, papers and other artifacts were stored appropriately. The small fireplace was lit as they walked in. It's bronze embers flicking to life and dancing around. His desk was in the center of the room in front of an old tapestry of the Nott family crest. Chairs were pulled directly in front of the desk with the flick of her father's wrist. He motioned for them to sit down as he took his place behind the desk.

Thaddeus took her hand in his as he knew she was anxious. He had gone through this same speech many years ago when his first year of Hogwarts hit. But he knew his sister was not like him and for that he was worried for her.

"I bet your wondering what's going on Tamara. I'll ease your mind a little, your not in trouble." 

Tamara looked up at her father as he continued to speak to her. Thaddeus's hand occasionally squeezing and rubbing circles with his thumb on the top of hers.

" I'm so proud that tomorrow your going to start your first year at Hogwarts. With that being said I want to remind you where you come from and that you have a big responsibility to uphold the Nott name at all times. This especially because your a girl and potential suitors will be watching your every move. I want you to make me proud and don't think for one second that you can throw caution to the wind. I have some ground rules for you to obey. As long as you obey them everything will go smoothly. Understand?"

"Yes sir." 

Her father stood up as he paced back and forth in front of his desk. If looks could kill Thaddeus and her would be dead. 

"First keep your grades up, I don't want people thinking we are a stupid family. Second stay out of trouble, I know your brother has slipped this one time to time but don't make an example of him. Third you are not to date anyone without permission or a proper courtship. I make the decisions on your future husbands. Fourth try to keep away from muggles, they tarnish the very purity we hold so dearly." 

Her father stopped and looked at the two of them. His blue eyes widening as his lips formed a smirk.

"Thaddeus will make sure you keep to those, won't you son?"

"Of course father, you have my word."

"Is that all father?", Tamara's voice stammered out as she kept her eyes strictly on her father. 

"One last thing, I made your brother do the same. You are to take a wizard's oath."

Tamara knew from her education and from other personal conversations what exactly that meant. Wizards oaths were not to be taken lightly as if they broke it could cause something as painful as death to the person breaking it. 

Her brother grabbed her shoulder to stand up as they walked towards their father. Her father's hand already out in a hand shake. She grabbed his hand like magnets were pulling her towards it, unable to break apart. 

Her brothers wand was instantly out and aimed at them as her father spoke. 

"This is just a precaution for us, it will help you in your success at Hogwarts. My youngest Tamara Nott, you will take an oath to promise me that you will not break one very critical thing for the house of Nott. Generations of us have been assigned this and take this with great pleasure. You will make sure in any circumstance that you will be placed in the Slytherin house. Promise me this." 

Tamara's hand felt like fire as her father gripped it tighter, his eyes burning into her own. Her brother also waiting for her confirmation, eyes staring at her. At this moment she felt alone even though others were staring her down. She had no choice, no option but to make it happen. 

"I pledge on this wizards oath to make you proud. I will become a Slytherin." 

\----

Tamara's eyes itched and were dry as she woke to the sound of Lola's knocks at her bedroom door. Before even seeing her face in the bathroom mirror she could tell that those same eyes were puffy. Only mere hours earlier her face stung ruby red. 

Her hair which was fortunate to last nights sob session remained in the messy braids she wore to bed. She made haste with as little time as Lola was giving her before she stormed in and got the girl. Splashing cold water to her face and letting her hair go free from its captivity. She had thrown on a simple hunter green jumper and a black skirt which she knew was mother approved. She didn't need any unnecessary drama today from anyone. She was one second from snapping as it was.

Lola barged in seconds later inspecting the girl and making some last minute adjustments. As they sat on her bed her mother walked in, a vision in plum which helped her bronzed skin stand out. Tamara wished she had her mother's complexion as it never seemed to have imperfections. 

"Oh sweetie you look great. A perfect first impressions outfit for the train. I made sure that all of your stuff was packed and out waiting with your brother. We need to meet the Blacks very shortly at the Platform. I just have two more important things to give you."

Two small boxes came forth from her mother's hand. Tamara worked on opening the first one to show a snake collar chain to hold her robe together. The emerald design shined brightly against the onyx eyes of the both heads of the serpents. The second smaller box is what captured her by surprise. 

A ring that held a moonstone shown brightly in the tiny satin box. She knew this ring because of its family heritage on her mom's side of the family. All the Zabini women wore this ring or its sister when they attended Hogwarts. Her mother was the last one to wear it

"Well don't be afraid put it on darling."

The golden ring band felt smooth against her finger as she slipped it on with ease. It's stone cascading different colors as she moved her hand. Her mother smiled at her as she started to tear up a little. 

"I said I wouldn't cry yet."

Tamara pulled her mother into a small embrace. Her mother smell like a fresh cup of coffee and a vanilla scone. Maybe that's why her father had a fascination and addiction to coffee shops everywhere they went. It would be cute if it reminded him of her mother. 

After calming her mother down Lola took the new boxes and put them in her luggage downstairs. The ring still on her finger as she walked down the steps from her room one last time for a couple of months. Her mother's hand never leaving her back as her father stood at the bottom of the steps in a set of elegant dress robes and business attire. Her brother fortunately was more casual in his black jumper and slacks. 

The ride to the train station was quiet which she preferred as she kept her eyes from her parents, Thaddeus and Lola. 

Once at the station she had heard from her brother about Platform 9 3/4 for many years as it still stumped him on how it was done. But the rush of pushing your luggage thru the brick wall and landing in a totally different land amazed the young girl. 

The laughing and loud voices of many children and even louder parents rang in her ears. Only one thing pierced her ear drums more than that were of the voice of Walburga Black. The same lady who had approached them with family in tow. Even Orion was present which was saying something about the occasion as the man never came anywhere unless it was business. Which may have been good for Tamara as Orion was the spitting image of an older Sirius minus the casual wind swept hair. Walburga was a very lucky lady in the husband department.

"Orion it's good to see you out", her father shook hands with the Black patriarch. As all the parents spoke Tamara took a step aside to see the brothers.

"I wrote you a letter already Tamara. Hope you don't mind" Regulus smiled as he handed the folded parchment to the young girl. Tamara saw the small amount of blush creep on the younger boys face as she pressed a small kiss on his forehead. 

"Thanks Reg. I will send you one out later with Cocoa for you." 

Cocoa was an owl that Lola had gifted her several days ago. A small dark chocolate owl with silvery tipped wings which reminded her of a chocolate bar. 

The trains warning whistle made some children jump and some parents start wrapping up to get their children to it. Her mother and Lola were already crying as they pulled the two Nott children into big hugs. Out of the corner of her eye she saw that Walburga was not as affectionate but instead was warning Sirius of the trouble he would be getting in and what would happen. Orion just sat back and watched the interaction with no feelings to show of it. Regulus the only one to hug his big brother. 

Her father was the last to tell her goodbye. His cologne was overpowering when he pulled her into an awkward hug .

"Your gonna make me proud right my little Slytherin?"

"Yes father." 

The second and final warning whistle caused the two first years to run towards the train shouting goodbyes over their shoulders. Their trunks already given to the proper people by Lola, the two only having to worry about where they were going to sit. 

Compartments upon compartments we're filling up fast as the two wandered down the narrow stretch of hall. Sirius had grabbed her hand quickly as he pulled her to the end of the train. A small compartment on its left was promising to the two. 

Once they entered they saw one very tall boy sitting close to the window. A book already in his lap as he pushed his sandy blonde hair from his face. His green eyes widened as he saw the two. 

"Hey mate is it okay if we sit here? All others are pretty much full." 

"Yeah that's fine."

Sirius guided them to the bench across from the boy. As seconds passed Sirius scooted closer to the edge of the bench. 

"So what's your name mate and what year you in?"

The shy boy looked up. A small silver scar peeked just above his eyebrow under his bangs. If sadness could be casted out of a body through eyes, his would show a troubled young man. Tamara caught the boys eyes land on her as if he was trying to read her. She gave him a small smile trying to calm his anxiety.

"Remus Lupin and I'm a first year." 

"Damn really? Your like super tall for a first year. I would have pegged you for a third year." 

The boy snorted at the comment as he placed his book down on the bench besides him.

"What my friend means to say is it is very nice to meet you Remus. My name is Tamara Nott and Mr lack of manners over here is Sirius Black. We are both first years too." 

Another small chuckle escaped his lips as the door on the compartment opened and slammed shut with a bang. Two boys pushed into the door and almost fell on top of Tamara as they did. 

A small chubbier boy with blonde hair and blue eyes glanced up and immediately placed himself on the bench near Remus as if the girl had a disease. The other boy on the other hand stood up taking a glance at everyone in the compartment. 

"Sorry bout that. Didn't have any empty spots and I may have royally ticked off a ginger girl a couple compartments down. I didn't know girls didn't like marriage proposals this early in the year. Well it must be my lucky day with ginger girls almost sat on this one. Sorry girlie." 

She looked at the boy standing up, his glasses slipping off his nose. His clothes crumpled about and his black hair god awfully stuck up in the back. It wasn't the fact that he was unkept that first bothered Tamara, it was the fact that he showcased a cockiness that even surpassed her own brothers. 

"Well from what I hear girls don't like to be tied down this early in the year. They like courtship and some damn manners to boot", her voice spat out sharply as she looked at the boy. His eyes widening at her. Remus on the other hand was getting a kick out of it as he chuckled again. 

"Sorry for that", the boy casually said. He placed a smirk on his face as he introduced himself. "My name is James Potter. First year and your next Quidditch all star." 

"Not possible mate that's me. But I am up for some friendly competition. Name is Sirius Black. Little kitten over here is Tamara Nott." 

"Do you call all the girls kitten or just that one?", the other boy behind James stated as he looked at the two in awe. 

"I think it's appropriate. That one has claws", James responded as he sat by the boy who was eventually introduced as Peter Pettigrew. 

For several minutes the boys all conversed with each other about Quidditch, things they wanted to do for first year and about candy they were ordering off the trolley. It was fine as Tamara kept to herself just listening to them all until the boy named James spoke up. 

"Hopefully I am in Gryffindor, my parents were. It's the best house their is at Hogwarts. As long as I'm not a Slytherin I am fine. That's the worst house and has the worst people."

Sirius grew stiff besides her as he looked at James.

"Yeah I agree. Slytherin is not good at all. I hope we all get in Gryffindor." 

Tamara scoffed as she looked at the boys. She shoved her feelings down as they continued their bashing of the house. The small boy Peter finally spoke up and looked at her.

"Hey guys don't you think it is getting a little stuffy in here. Maybe one of us should move." 

Tamara looked at the other boys around her as they continued their talk. Even Sirius didn't say anything back to Peter as he kept pressing about it being over crowded. Only the boy in the corner near the window with a book at his side looked at her and smiled briefly.

"Sirius I'm gonna go freshen up a bit okay?" 

"Yeah, sure", he responded not leaving too much concern or the conversation he was having with James. 

Peter looked pleased as she exited the compartment and James moved over next to Sirius. The image made her tear up a little as the boy who she was friends with first didn't even care that she was gone. She had been thrown out and pushed aside. Maybe it was because she was a girl or maybe it was because she didn't bow down when they talked about the Gryffindor house. 

The girl slowly walked the hallway until she heard a girl's voice behind her. 

"Hey you. Do you need somewhere to sit?" 

Tamara's eyes met similar green ones as she turned around. The girl looked to be about the same age as her but what took her back was her pretty light red hair. Tamara gave a small nod to the girl as she headed into the compartment. They were not alone as a boy sat on one bench.

His eyes dark obsidian and his hair shoulder length black and slightly greasy. He was stoic as he held a paper in one hand and gave the girl a small nod. 

"Another ginger must be my lucky day", he said as he started to read his paper again. The girl on the other hand led Tamara to the seat by her. 

"Are you okay darling? Looks like you want to start crying." 

"I'm fine thank you. Just dealt with a bunch of idiots that's all." 

"Must be going around. Had the biggest idiot try to ask me to marry him today", she laughed as she pushed a piece of a Tamara's hair back. 

"Oh I think I met him. Dark hair, glasses and ego as big as Hogwarts itself." 

"Yeah that's the one. That man will never get any girl's respect with that attitude. Sorry for my ranting, my name is Lily Evans. Over there is Severus Snape. It's our first year going to Hogwarts too. I'm sorry I assumed it was your first year." 

"It's okay. It is. I'm Tamara Nott."

Severus dropped his paper as he looked at the girl in front of him. His posture stiffened as he looked over at Lily. 

"As in the pure blood Nott family? Didn't your family write a book about pure blood supremacy?" 

Lily's body stiffened as she looked at her. A small wave of fear crossed her eyes.

"Yes that is the family but I can assure you I'm not here to hurt anyone. People make their own determinations of others themselves. Wouldn't you agree?" 

"I'm sorry he got so defensive. I'm muggle-born." 

Tamara looked at the girl who kept her eyes peeled on her waiting for a reaction, anything to help determine if she was a threat.

"Well your the first one I have ever met in person before and I find it an honor to make it someone so nice as you were to me. We are all here to go to Hogwarts and receive an education all the same. So what if your parents are not wizards. I have a squib as a nanny back home and we get along just fine."

The rest of the train ride went smoothly as the girls talked while Severus peered over his paper several times at them. His face was stern but his eyes showed a different side completely. Tamara could tell the boy was completely in love with the other ginger. And Lily was oblivious to it.

Before the train stopped they all changed into their robes. Severus being the gentleman he was left the compartment for the girls as he changed in the bathroom. Even getting off the train he helped the girls and even helped them pick out a boat to get into to get to Hogwarts. 

Besides seeing Sirius still chatting with his new friends, Tamara gawked at the castle she would be spending her time in. She saw Lily and Severus do the same. 

You would think all the first years would be gawking at the beautiful stone work and large hill that the castle structure sat on. Or the night sky illuminating some of its wonders with help from the multiple lights on inside. 

You would think that but one boy was staring at a certain auburn haired girl. And he wasn't happy about her boat situation.


	4. IV

Candle glow lit the corridors of the enormous castle as many feet stepped quickly as instructed by older students. The first years could only be described with mixed emotions as they came to a large stone stairway. Tamara could literally feel the happiness and anxiety radiate from her fellow peers. 

She had continued to stay with her boat mates as they came to the stop at the stairs. A older lady elegantly dressed in rich green robes turned her eyes down to the new students. A magnificent hat sat on top of her polished head as her head turned from left to right to get the attention of them all. 

"Welcome all to Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry. My name is Professor McGonagall and from all the staff here we wish to show our greatest appreciation that you attended this school for the next seven years. Before the feast you will be sorted to your houses. Those include Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. Sorting will resume momentarily as the rest of your older classmates get settled in the great hall. I will expect you all to be on your best behavior until then." 

"Oh I'm so excited. I can't wait to see what I'll be. Are you excited?"

"Yeah Lily I am. Just nervous I guess." 

The voices grew louder around her as she watched everyone meet others. Sirius's new group of friends were all laughing like they had all known each other for years. Behind her Lily and Severus were in conversation about something they both had read about the castle. She didn't join as she realized quickly that she felt like a third wheel.

Her body seemed to instantly turn at the laughter which belonged to Sirius. His eyes locked on her from across the room. She tried to force her head down but was unsuccessful. A smile appeared on his lips as he kept his eyes on her. She tried to reciprocate the gesture but failed miserably. 

" The sorting ceremony is ready to begin", the Professor stated as the large doors to the Great Hall opened. 

As they piled in she felt a hand brush hers as they walked to the front of the room. Sirius smiled down at her as they stopped. 

"You worried Kitten?"

The ginger nodded her head as her eyes transfixed to the hat and stool ahead of them. The hat a cruel prank and perhaps a life long punishment if it happened to disown what she needed.

"I will call you alphabetically, the hat will be placed on your head. Once the house is chosen, you must go to your table and meet your new house mates." 

Several names were called as the boy next to her took her hand. A warm gentle squeeze felt as he raised their combined hands, giving hers a small kiss. No others seemed to notice the small gesture as he let it go once his name was called. 

"Black, Sirius."

The animated hat barely had to touch his head and his body barely touched the stool as it's voice yelled, 

"Gryffindor." 

Sirius looked at his new friends he had made as they all yelled to congratulate him. The Gryffindor table in a roar as he seated himself. Tamara's heart sank as those words were called out. That future she had imagined crumbled to the floor right in front of her very eyes.

The sorting continued as she sunk deeper and deeper to despair. She had heard two more names of both Remus Lupin and Lily Evans get called to the Gryffindor table. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed the annoyed tick of Severus Snape as the other ginger took her seat at the table. 

"Nott, Tamara." 

The ginger gradually went up to the stool, the hat seeming to take a personality of its own to her. Her conscience hoping it would listen to her, maybe reason with her. The eyes of the professors bore holes into her as she spun around to sit on the wooden stool. She tried to clear her head as the hat sat on her head. A small electric current could be felt as all she heard at first was hums. 

Her inner voice spoke up to the hat, the voice of reason.

*Please let me be in Slytherin please*

Suddenly her eyes closed and she felt a burning in her mind. Her ears not hearing anything but an intruder went inside her head.

*Are you sure? You would make an excellent Ravenclaw. You fit all the qualities of one. What interests me most Miss Nott is as a first year you can shut yourself out enough to talk to me. Why should I put you in Slytherin anyways?*

Tamara's eyes stung as she kept them closed. Her hands gripping at the edges of her robes. 

*My whole family is Slytherin and I need this or I am breaking a promise.*

*I notice the wizards oath on you girl. If that's what you want even though you are definitely not a Slytherin. Not even close.*

Sirius stared at the stool with many other eyes around the room. It had been a while as the hat hummed on. Tamara sat perfectly still with her eyes closed. The glow of the candles floating above her making her hair radiate its natural red hue. She looked beautiful even under the stress he knew she was currently feeling. He didn't know what was taking the hat so long to decide.

*Please I beg you please* 

The girl tried one last time to reason with the hat without others knowing as the hat spoke to the crowd.

"My, my what a tough one this is. Must be... Slytherin."

The girls eyes broke open to the Slytherin table in cheers. Her bottom leaving the stool as she looked back at the Headmaster himself. His eyes twinkled as he winked at the girl. 

She headed over to the table in a daze as her head hurt from the brief personal exchange from the hat. Across the room she saw Sirius staring at her, an unreadable expression on his face. 

Her brother scooted over for her as he gave her a nudge on the shoulder. His friend Lucius sitting on the other side with Narcissa closely by his side. 

"Making the Nott name proud today sis. Finally a serpent like your suppose to be. Dad is gonna be pleased." 

"Congrats little Nott." 

Lucian Malfoy smirked at the girl as he rose his water goblet to his lips. The girl next to him smiled with pure joy at the girl. 

"Can't believe the little firecracker I use to babysit is all grown up. It will be great having some more girls in Slytherin. Congratulations."

"Thanks Cissy."

"At least one family is loyal to the cause", a boy stated looking over in the direction of Sirius. The look on Lucius Malfoy could kill as he stared at the boy who was laughing with others at the Gryffindor table. 

"What a fucking disgrace", he spat as his eyes narrowed to slits. 

"His mum is gonna kill him.", my brother noted as he looked over to Narcissa. She blinked away any emotion that played inside her. 

"A stain on the most loyal and pure House of Black", she gritted out as she tugged at the loose blonde ringlets around her shoulder. 

Narcissa always was the one who was the most level headed of the Black sisters. The one who balanced the ying and yang of the other two. While the middle sister Andromeda was kind and generous with a touch of witty, the oldest sister Bellatrix was so insane that thankfully she hardly ever watched the Nott girl growing up. Last Tamara knew she had just married Rodolphus Lestrange and was following some cult with him. 

A small tap on the girl's shoulder was felt as her green eyes met coal colored irises. His black hair hung in his pale face as he spoke.

"Can I sit by you?"

"Of course Severus. The spot is free for the taking."

The boy took his position at the table as her brother and his friends turned their heads slightly at the two. But as soon as they looked over more gossip washed any questioning away. 

"I'm sorry about Lily", Tamara whispered as Dumbledore started to give a speech. The tense shoulders of Severus Snape relaxed as he looked over to the girl. He had never been this up close to this girl but now he noticed the imperfections of the girl. She had a small scar on her left cheek and her eyes kept changing from gray to green as she gave him a small smirk.

These things made it seem like the girl ahead of him wasn't perfect as he originally imagined. She had flaws he knew and if he wasn't already smitten completely with Lily Evans the girl next to him would be a perfect second choice. He did have a fascination with his red heads.

"It's okay. I had a feeling that we wouldn't end in the same house. We're different Lily and me. She could never be a Slytherin even if she tried." 

" I'm shocked she didn't get Ravenclaw." 

"I'm shocked you didn't get it yourself."

The boy stared at her observing her reaction to the statement. She took slow breaths as she gained composure easily. 

"Why do you say that?"

The boy shrugged as he fought a small yawn that came to his mouth. 

"Well that hat had a time trying to find you a house. And your really intelligent from what I heard from Lily and you on the train. My gut feeling was Ravenclaw. But I'm ecstatic your with me. Gives me someone to talk to."

Food piled up on the table as kids excitedly ate , some engorging their faces. Conversation passed easily as a drunk drinking a bottle of fire whisky before the students excited to get to their dorms. 

Marble stair cases moved on their own and pictures followed there every move. Well for everyone except the Slytherins who were currently headed for the dungeons. Prefects and even their own Headmaster Professor Horace Slughorn leading the way. 

A painting displaying a grouchy older woman covered in black funeral clothes sat stiff as her serpentine eyes stared at the children. Her chilling voice boomed off the stone and through the corridors. 

"Password."

Tamara instantly noticed Slughorn rolling his eyes as he stared up at the lady in the painting. 

"First day Edith and you want to scare the young-ins. Password is Ginger Root."

The painting gave a devilish smile at the professor as it swung open. Headmaster Slughorn gave the prefects orders as he left to his own chambers. 

As they all went through the doorway a bright fire glowed in the middle of the common area under a huge tapestry of the Slytherin crest. Several bright velvet green couches and chairs littered the room some accompanying tables with activities such as wizards chess while others sat bare. It was definitely an over explosion of green, silver and black in that room. 

Lucius Malfoy called for complete silence as he looked at the younger children. The others in the house already heading to their dorms. Narcissa accompanying him as she lightly held onto his right arm. 

"Okay first years to your rooms you can follow the corridors I am about to list. Ladies to your left, gentlemen to your right. I will personally help you guys while Narcissa helps you ladies." 

Severus looked over to the right and then back at me. "Good night Tamara. See you tomorrow."

"Night Severus."

The boy didn't bother looking back as he headed to the boys dormitory. As she turned towards her own she watch the thick blonde curls of Narcissa sway back and forth. Her long robes glided behind her. Tamara would have thought her an angel as her elegance to everything around her made her ethereal. She would never understand why she would be with Lucius Malfoy of all people, she could of had anyone. 

The first years girls rooms were the same as the common room, full of blacks,greens and silvers. The walls seemed to beg and pled for some other color as it looked absolutely dreadful in there from the young girls perspective. Whoever must have charmed the room before they got there because instead of four beds which Tamara knew was the normality of the rooms, they had three. Only two other girls were sorted into Slytherin with her and maybe lucky or not so lucky she knew them. They went to finishing school with her. 

Violeta Greengrass and Rosalie Lestrange were much like herself in their upbringings. They came from pure blood supremacy, their families all sorted into Slytherin as Violeta's Older brother was a fourth year and Rosalie's cousins Rabastan and Rodolphus were Slytherins when they attended. 

Violeta was a small girl and had long brown hair that was a straight as a pin. Her large brown eyes were always pulled into a worrisome look growing up. She was slightly shy and kept to herself. The biggest issue with her was the fact she was always sickly. From the rumors Tamara had heard was that the women in the Greengrass family had a blood curse interlocked in them causing them to be sick all the time. Most of the women didn't live past their 30th birthdays. 

The other girl Rosalie Lestrange was the exact opposite. Her wild curly black locks were cut just at her shoulders and her dark brown eyes showed great mischief. It was like she took a page out of her cousin in law Bellatrix's book on how she styled herself. At least she wasn't as crazy as her and you could have some conversation with her. Problem is this girl only ever wanted to talk about boys. 

"Did you see all the cute boys here? This is the greatest day of my life", Rosalie cried out as her body crashed into the bed. A loud thump of the headboard against the stone wall. Tamara laughed at the girl as Violeta went over to make sure she was okay. 

The night was progressed as the other girls decided they wanted to check out the common room more. 

In her black satin pajamas she picked up the letter she had received from the youngest black boy. His perfect cursive penmanship swirled across the page of parchment.

—   
Tamara, 

I hope you find this letter in good spirits. Congratulations on your first day of Hogwarts and for getting out of your family home. I can't wait until next year when I can get out of mine. 

Maybe once I get into Slytherin with you and Sirius we can all hang together. Maybe even my brother and I can be the best Quidditch stars Hogwarts has ever seen. You can watch us and when we get famous even tell people you knew us. 

I wanted to be the first hopefully to wish you a Happy Birthday tomorrow. I am happy I get to share a birthday with someone like you. I hope you an Sirius have fun on your birthday. 

I miss you.

Regulus  
——

Her mind scattered thoughts as she tried to control her emotions. Small wet tears streamed lightly down her face onto the satin black pillow case. Thankfully the other girls wouldn't see her cry if they came up. The four poster bed curtains were pulled closely together as she continued to sob. 

For who knew what her first year at Hogwarts was to bring. The one boy she thought she would spend it with seemed to be slipping out of her grasp.

Light peered through the cracks of windows in the dungeon. Another night had passed with tear stains and soaked pillows. If this is what Hogwarts was suppose to entail then Tamara wanted nothing to do with it anymore.

Her roommates still laid in deep sleep as she made the decision to try and force herself awake. Red eyed and frizzy hair stared intensely back at her as she stared into the bathroom mirror. 

The school uniform felt frumpy and foreign to her body. The skirt itchy against her, her robes heavy on her petite shoulders and the tie felt suffocating. 

She had no idea she would spend her twelfth birthday being stung by so many problems. Her world seemed to break into tiny pieces as chunk after chunk threatened to crash in on her. 

She decided to wake the others before heading down to breakfast. Both girls more worried about their appearance than making sure they ate.

The wooden bench was cold against her stocking covered thighs as she sat and picked at the lumpy porridge. A cup of tea getting cold as she abandoned it. 

Tables began to fill up as she shut out conversations going on around her. She wanted silence to fill her ears, she wished she was alone.

"Happy Birthday."

Her brother squeezed her shoulders as he looked down at her. Hums produced from his body as he sat next to her. 

"Will you keep it down."

Her abrasive behavior was something that seemed to spark worry in Thaddeus as he stopped pouring a cup of coffee to divert his attention to her. 

"You okay?"

Tamara grumbled to herself as she pushed herself off the bench. Her footsteps rushing as the calls of her brother tried to stop her. These calls made the head of first year Gryffindor boy perk up.

Remus watched the girl leave with haste as she let the doors slam behind her. Something fascinated him about the girl, his instincts seemed to say that she was not all that was seen. 

He could pinpoint her nerve wracking heart rate and hear a threatened sob want to rip out of her throat. He knew kind of how she was feeling because he had felt that way many times.

The boys next to him were oblivious to anything around them except for the food which they stuffed into their faces. He said his farewells as he tried hard to follow the girl.

She was pressed against the stone wall outside of their first class. Her red hair was in wild ringlets on either side of her head. Her storm gray eyes were trying to hold back emotion as he stood across from her. 

"Are you okay?", the tall sandy blonde boy said at enough distance away from the girl. Enough so that she could hear him but also so he wasn't breathing down her neck. 

A slice of emotion passed her eyes as she looked at her black shoes, a small scuff already present.

"No."

"I could tell. I'm sorry I overheard you with your brother in the great hall before you stormed off. Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?" 

His green eyes stared at the girl ahead of him careful to pick his words and actions correctly. She watched him as he grabbed a small aluminum wrapped item out of his pocket and attempted to hand it to her.

"Have a chocolate, that always helps me."

The small piece of candy looked inviting in this boy's hand. She saw his smile as she took it from him and unwrapped it. Popping it gently into her mouth, the candy melted into liquid coating her mouth. She sighed as it seemed to help her nervous stomach.

"Thanks."

"Anytime." 

Minutes passed in serene silence as the boy was looking at his schedule. Tamara would take glimpses at him from time to time.

The boy was cute, no doubt about that. But he didn't compare to the charms of Sirius Black. The only thing that made her stare at him was his face and hands held tiny silver scars. Maybe he was in a bad accident is the only explanation she could possibly think of.

"Do you read Walden a lot?", Tamara broke the silence as she looked at the boy. "I saw you reading Walden on the train."

"Sometimes. I'm surprised you know who he is."

"Why's that?"

"Because your not a muggle."

Remus covered his face after he blurted out the last phrase. Shame apparent as he tried to counteract the last phrase. 

"I meant to say that you must be a pure blood, generally speaking only pure bloods are Slytherin. I'm sorry I don't think before I speak sometimes."

She let out a giggle as he fumbled over his words. Her hand crossed the hallway gap as she placed a reassuring hand on his arm. His eyes widened as he looked down at the girl. No one ever touched him or ever wanted to.

"Your fine. I visit a muggle library from time to time with my nanny. We don't tell my parents it's our little secret. Good books are hard to come by sometimes when you come from a family like mine. Most of the written word is bigotry and romanticized to be it", the words escaped her lips. 

To see the shock on Remus Lupin's face was enough to make Tamara Nott smile. She liked to challenge people who she didn't know, he was definitely no exception.

"I'm so sorry", Remus stammered out again as they heard shoes tapping on the stone floors of the dungeon.

Professor Slughorn carried a large leather bag in one arm and his wand in the other. A incantation too low to hear was mumbled from the Professor as the door to the potions classroom swung open with ease.

"Ahh two early birds. Come on in and take a seat. Pick whichever ones for right now."

Slughorn dropped his bag on his desk in the front as the the cabinets containing multiple potion bottles flung open. Cauldrons appeared on each table as the two set down their bags across the room from each other. Tamara had hoped that Remus would sit with her to have someone kindly enough to follow her warranted that the boy wasn't bad like the others Sirius and him hung with. 

Her eyes turned down as kids came piling into the classroom. The chair next to her pulled itself out as Severus sat down. 

"Heard it was your birthday. I'm not good at that kind of crap so Happy Birthday", he said monotoned as he pulled a parchment and a quill out. 

"Thanks, I'm not really in the celebrating spirit anyways."

Her two roommates took seats at another desk as Rosalie gushed over a boy at that table. Tamara could see from the corner of her eye the girl mercilessly flirting with him. Violeta gave her a quick smile and wave as she sat down. 

The tables filled up as she watched the segregation of the two houses even in the room. Well that was except Lily Evans who took a seat straight across from the two Slytherins.

"Hey Severus and Tamara. Hope you don't mind me sitting here and all. I just want to work with you guys and get away from that James Potter fellow over there. Seriously boy can't take a hint."

"It's no problem Lily", Tamara said as she gave the other ginger a smile. Severus gave a nod to his long time friend as he looked over at Tamara. 

"I know someone who is good at celebrations though."

"What are we celebrating?", Lily's voice spoke as she finished setting up her work station. 

"Tamara's Birthday", Snape replied casually as his eyes peered over at Tamara. If looks could kill she would have shot him down right on the spot.

"Oh boy a birthday", Lily enthusiastically cheered as the rest of the room stared at their table.

Slughorn took an interest as he came over to the table, "Whose birthday is it?"

Lily's perfect maroon polished finger pointed her way. This lead to a very unnerving rendition of Happy Birthday to be sung by the class. 

Tamara's head hit the countertop and when she peered up she saw the grinning face of Sirius Black. He gave her a small wink as he turned his attention back to the Professor. Tamara wanted so bad to flip him off.

As the class concluded kids pilled out of the room in droves. Lily took ahold of Severus and Tamara's arms and pulled them out in the hallway. 

"We should totally get a cake to celebrate from the kitchen tonight." 

"Who's celebrating?", James Potter pulled up behind them with the other three boys following. "I love cake."

"Your not invited", Lily shot back quickly as she tried to pull the two Slytherin with her. "It's just gonna be Severus, Tamara and me for Tamara's birthday."

"That's too bad Lily, I thought snakes didn't like cake. Snivellus is it? You don't eat cake do you?"

Severus scoffed as he peered over his shoulder to look at the all too cocky James. His knuckles clenched until they were white. 

"Why are you even hanging out with Slytherins anyways Lily, don't you know they are all bad. Hang out with the good guys it's more fun that way then to mingle with villains." 

The heat crawled up Tamara's neck to the tip of her ears. She watched as Lily tried to stomp her way down the hall away from the group. 

"Don't get eaten by the snakes Lily." 

James laughed as Sirius and Peter joined. As Tamara looked over Remus looked at her mouthing 'sorry'. It would have been fine with the insults, that Tamara could deal with. What she couldn't deal with was the fact that her first ever best friend wasn't defending her at all.

Her body stopped as she spun around bringing the other two to a stop. 

"Oh go fuck yourself", she yelled as the boys stopped laughing and shock appeared on their faces. 

That outburst gave them the advantage to leave and hopefully to not have to deal with the four the rest of the day.

——  
Tamara that night skipped meals instead telling the elves in the kitchen she wasn't feeling all to well. She also wanted to stay away from everyone with the exception of Lily and Severus who congratulated her endlessly on showing the boys up.

Tamara left the Slytherin dorms in the late night as she made her way undetected to the owlery. 

Cocoa was happy to see her owner as she gave her several snacks and a birthday card for Regulus. As the bird set out into the dark night sky, Tamara jumped as she heard footsteps come closer. 

"It is okay it's just me kitten", Sirius said as he walked closer to her in the dark. A boyish smile peered on his lips as he stopped a couple feet from her. "What are you doing up here anyways?"

"Sending your brother a birthday card."

"I am doing the same. Hopefully it gets to him first and not my parents. Got my first howler this morning at breakfast. Where were you this morning? I wanted to tell you Happy Birthday before anyone else."

Tamara peered out the window as Sirius's owl let out a hoot as his wings flew into the sky. Sirius went to pull her in as he placed a small kiss to her forehead. She instantly pushed him away.

"Don't touch me."

"What's wrong kitten?"

Sirius stood mere inches now from her face. She could smell the peppermint of his toothpaste as his breath fanned down on her. She tried to stay composed but with him it was hard. 

"I'm angry at you. I never thought I would say those words but I'm so pissed off at you Sirius." 

Sirius went to reach his hand out to grab one red ringlet affectionately but Tamara gave one solid push away. 

"I said don't touch me. Don't ever touch me again." 

"Why are you acting this way? First you have been moody and storming off. Second you treated James like crap today and you been hanging out with that Snivellus fellow. He is no good at all."

Tamara looked at Sirius with red hot fire in her eyes. He ticked her off and he didn’t know how bad it was. 

“Did you not hear anything that James was saying today or are you so far up his ass you can’t hear?”

“Of course I did. I agree Slytherins are nothing but bad and that’s why you need to stay away from them. All of them are evil. Look at our families, they are so prejudice to Muggles it’s sick.”

“I think your forgetting about me being one then genius. So I am just a bigot is that right? I’m evil. I think I have heard just about enough. If you can’t get to know a person before judging them I think we need to stop speaking. You know me well enough and still didn’t support me in front of James, I know your priorities Sirius. We are done here.”

The owls around them hooted and flapped their wings as the girl reached the door. Her hands shaking as she turned the handle.

“Kitten wait...”

“Have fun with your life Sirius. I’m done.”

Sirius watched her leave the owlery. His heart and head on the same rhythm, conflicted.


	5. V

A/N: watch the dates carefully from now on

Summer 1976

Severus's sweat dropped down his back like a water faucet left only a smidge open. His black shirt barely soaking it up as he was led into three different stores. His body followed the bouncing ginger curls of the girl ahead of him. 

He was so close on throwing a leg lock curse on the girl just to get out of shopping. He hated people, stores and anything to do with being social but she needed him so he dealt. 

It seemed like over the summer the girl went from a young naive lady to a crude not giving a single fuck woman. Which she definitely didn't give anyone a care in the world. 

Cigarette smoke blew out between her rosy pink lips like mist upon a dark lagoon. A habit as of lately she had picked up along with drinking and wearing muggle clothes. 

That is why on this god awful summer day the two walked down a street in London doing what Severus never thought he would do, looking for a bikini for the red headed firecracker. 

Why might you ask well she was invited to a end of the summer sleepover at the McKinnon household by another firecracker by the name Lily Evans. And according to Tamara she wanted to impress her friends so she needed some muggle clothes so that she didn't come off as a complete Slytherin. She wanted to fit in and unfortunately Severus was her only option at this point to help her.

"I'm gonna murder you", the boy groaned as he took another step down the sidewalk with the girl. "Why don't you wear something you already have?"

The girl laughed as she tossed the lit cigarette on the side walk squashing it under her wedged heel. Her response was to grab him by the arm into a store that was a hippie paradise. Beaded curtains, shag rugs and floral bright prints galore. 

Tamara wanted to burst out laughing at the pure disgust on the boys face. He picked up a floral knitted shirt with bright pinks, yellows and greens. His face displayed a disgusted expression and he threw it to the side. 

"That looks like sunshine barfed on it." 

"Not into bright and cheery eh Sev?", the girl prodded at the pale gaunt boy as she picked up three bikini bathing suits heading to the changing room. 

His left forearm itched with a phantom pain. His conscience wanted to make sure he spent his days carefully with people like Tamara, he was unsure if he would get opportunity soon to do so. 

School was returning in a week but other obligations were blossoming for the sixteen almost seventeen year old boy. Lifetime opportunities that he couldn't say no to but opportunities that he was forbidden currently of telling Tamara of. 

While she went and partied the night away with a carefree action, he had to lie and go to Malfoy Manor for the first and only piece of dark artwork to pierce his flesh. The artwork was an implication of something to rock the soul of the Wizarding world. He had thought carefully and instead of being the meek and spineless person he had become from years of abuse from his own father and classmates, he was to be powerful as described by his Lord earlier that week.

A power that would tip the balance maybe ensuring that he would be the man Lily Evans would look at instead of James Fucking Potter. 

Potter and his group of misfits except for maybe Lupin most of the time made it their life goal to torture him. The pranks and jokes were one thing but the fact that Potter still tried to win the love of his life was infuriating. His blood boiled and singed a heart thrumming song of pure hatred. He also hated the way these boys thought they ruled everything with their egotistical thoughts and actions. 

How they try to make the Slytherins into freaks including the girl who just threw two multicolored bikinis out the top of the changing room perfectly onto a changing rack. Not only did that also tick the boy off but he knew one other boy that would love nothing more than to slap the smug faces right off of his older brother's face and his friends. 

A boy he would pick up later on tonight that itched for a freedom from being treated like dirt, but more so hated the treatment of a certain ginger who finally made herself known.

"This one is perfect Sev. What you think?" 

The girls long red hair hung in curls to her butt which was currently displaying a black and white polka dot print bikini bottom. She twirled and thankfully the top was secured enough to make sure her large chest stay in place. To any other man, the girl was perfect but to Severus she was the sister he never had. He knew she was beautiful of course but he didn't think of her that way but he knew one friend who would love to be in his position right now.

"It's fine. Can we go soon I have to pick up Reg."

The girl admired herself in a full length mirror as she twirled around. The both heard a clattering of dress racks before they spotted a intruder to their little fashion show. An intruder who could not hide his tall sandy blonde hair and sharp green eyes. 

"Remus Lupin, are you spying on us?", the girl laughed as the boy stepped out. Even though he hardly been a threat before to Severus and her, Severus eyes stayed in predator mode. Because the only way to fight a beast was to be a predator. 

"Sorry about that, I heard your voice and thought I would say hello."

"None of your friends are with you right?", Severus asked as his eyes darted around. 

"No just me. Was here to get a present for my mom, it's her birthday today and she likes a perfume that they sell."

Tamara stared at the boy in front of her, he always seemed unsure of his place. She knew this boy carried dark secrets but out of the whole Marauder gang he was the one she could deal with. He was the one she would have late night study sessions with. A boy who seemed to look past her house rank and look more into the person she was. And it was equal as she knew that he himself hid away once a month at a full moon rising but didn't deserve anything less than respect.

"So what brings you guys to muggle London this fine day?", Remus quizzed the pair as his eyes traveled the body of the young Nott girl. A girl who was shear perfection in everything she did but he could never dream of having. He could feel her heart lend itself to another. 

Before she could answer, her friend spoke out the answer for her. 

"A girls sleepover with the enemy."

Tamara scoffed at him as she went back into the changing room. Remus followed her body especially her hips as they swung back and forth. Remus gulped down a breath he held too long which prompted Severus to stare at him. 

"Don't you dare even try. She doesn't need some one who could kill her once a month. Remember when you tried to kill me last year?"

Remus didn't remember clearly but was told by others what had happened when Sirius Black led the young Slytherin boy literally to the wolves den. An act that made Lupin angry at his best friend, an act that almost exposed him to others. He could have killed Sirius without the moon change with his bare hands. 

" I wasn't going to try. Tamara is just a friend that's it. She is way too good for me anyways.”

“What are you guys arguing about?”, the ginger’s interest peeked as she looked at the two. 

“Absolutely nothing right Lupin?” 

The blonde nodded as he stood awkwardly staring at the Slytherins. The girl’s eyebrow raised as she went to the front to pay for her swim suit. 

“I hope you have fun at your sleepover tonight.”, the blonde yelled back as he jogged down the street as they parted. The girl looked back at her friend as she gave him a light shove on the shoulder. 

“What the hell was that for?” 

“You told him I had a sleepover tonight? He is gonna tell the rest of those asses he hangs with.”

“He probably thinks your going with the other Slytherin girls. Those men are dim as a broken light bulb. Speaking of which, which one of those girls did you tell Gretchen you were staying with supposedly ?” 

“Rosalie”, Tamara snapped back quickly as they walked to a dark alleyway down one of the side streets of London. “She covers for me, I cover for her. Remember she has been sleeping with a guy at the ministry, a much older one. She has a thing for old rich guys.” 

Severus gagged as he thought of Rosalie Lestrange in the bed of a old guy. She was the type to literally screw her way up the social ladder. But Severus had a disdain for all the Lestrange family, they were scumbags of the Wizarding world. 

They got to a little store tucked at the end of the alleyway, closed off to others and looking abandoned on the outside. But inside the two knew there was a floo network in the back. A little wizard novelty tucked in muggle London. But even the door to the shop would only open to three taps with a wand to the handle.

As they walked to the door that said ‘Closed’, Severus took his wand out of his holster hidden tucked in his trousers. Three taps on the door that showed the old shop’s name of Periwinkle’s Beauty opened instantaneous. 

The inside was cluttered with old beauty chairs and other magically charmed beauty artifacts to make the shop look non abandoned. As they crossed the shop a lady getting her hair done in a portrait blocked the entrance to the hidden floo. 

“Password”, the brunette with curlers said to the two. 

“Rinse and Repeat”, Tamara stated as she smirked as the portrait opened. The floo in sight for the two. 

The stepped in the ashes as Severus took a handful of green powder in his hand. His voice bellowed as he threw the powder down at their feet. 

“12 Grimmauld Place.” 

Dusting the ashes off their clothes, they were greeted by the eyes of Orion Black who was reading a copy of ‘The Daily Prophet’ on the long gray lounge chair. 

“To which honor do I have for you two to grace my household?”, Orion smirked as he put the paper down. 

“Depends is Walburga here?”, Tamara whispered as Orion let out a loud laugh. 

She had learned quickly in the last couple years that Orion had a side of humor especially when it came to his uptight wife. She figured it was because he had to be stern with her, he needed a release when she was gone.

“Yeah, she’s gone. Went to help your mom with last minute things for your brother’s wedding tomorrow. You excited for it?” 

“As excited as anyone could be wearing so many layers of pastel pink taffeta that she is swallowed alive by it”, Tamara sighed. 

Orion let out another laugh as a pop in front of them made the girl jump alittle. Upon inspection, the Black household elf Kreacher placed a China set of tea and several baked goods down as Orion told the two to indulge as freely as possible while they waited for the youngest Black male to come down. 

“Regulus”, Orion shouted as Tamara put a lump of sugar into her tea. The spoon swirling itself as she concentrated on it.

“Your getting good at wandless magic”, Orion noticed. “I didn’t even notice you whisper a charm.” 

“That’s because she didn’t”, Severus exclaimed as he drank his tea black. 

“Hey dad do you know where Kreacher put my shirt...”

Tamara looked up, her eyes landing on the slightly sculpted abdominal muscles of the boy. Her eyes trailed up to his face, his perfect jawline that all the Black men were blessed with and his wet messy black hair. She landed on his eyes as they looked at her with pure shock. 

“Severus didn’t tell me that he was bringing you along”, the boy bit back a nervous glance as the house elf pushed a black button up into the boy’s hand. 

“Surprise”, Severus deadpanned setting his tea cup down. Giving Regulus a small smirk as the two expressed unknown emotions back and forth. Orion glared at the little banter, completely aware of the situation. The girl was completely lost. 

“So what are you youngsters up to today?”, Orion asked as his son sat by him on the lounger. Tamara looked over at Severus and back at Regulus because for once she only was along for the ride.

“Well originally Sir I was going to go with Regulus to get some last minute items before school started back up. But this one was so persistent this morning I accompany her on a shopping excursion that now I have no idea what is going to happen next.”

“You two buy anything good today while out?”

The bag next to Tamara disappeared instantly as she charmed it to. Her blush crept on her face as Severus shook his head at her. 

“Nothing important”, she said. Regulus’s smile plastered on his face as he peered over at her. She felt as if her head was getting hot, her mind being messed with as a single intrusion had broken in without her awareness. They came and left without too much impact but she knew Regulus Black knew what she bought as he winked at her. 

“So shall we be off then?”, Severus piped up as he picked himself off the chair. The two followed as they said their farewells to the Black patriarch and thanked him for his hospitality. 

As soon as they got into the street outside the Black residence, Regulus turned to the two, 

“So do I get to go bikini shopping next time? Why does Severus get to have all the fun?”

“Believe me mate, I could have done without it. No offense but watching a girl you practically think is like a sister to you twirl around in tight muggle swim suits is not my idea of fun.” 

“So do I get a peek?”

“No”, Tamara laughed as she looked back at the stunned face of Regulus. His jaw almost dropped to the ground in offense. 

“You probably would let my brother see you in it.” 

“I’d rather kiss a Dementor then let that man whore ever see me like that.”

“Still mad at him I see. He is very easy to be pissed at.” 

Regulus would know first hand as of recently. Sirius had officially been casted out of the Black family and off the family tree. He had been shunned and because of it had treated Regulus like a piece of used gum stuck to his shoe. 

Sirius could have hid his feelings and new actions like Tamara did. He could have try to make it until they were graduated to ensure that he didn’t cause too much of a problem. She didn’t believe in the old beliefs, she wore and used muggle things just not in front of her parents. She would never even think to use the profanity of mudblood. 

I guess Sirius was more brave than she was. Not afraid of family influences. But she also heard that something happened to him at one of the business meetings which she didn’t know about. Her dad would not even remotely let her know anything about any of them and she was convinced that he told Regulus and Severus to keep her out as well.

And it’s not like she could ask Sirius. Ever since that day a long time ago in the owlery, she had kept close lipped around him. Ignoring and trying to stay as clear as possible of him. That didn’t mean he didn’t make her life a living hell at times. 

Such one occasion was at a Halloween dance last year, she was asked to go by a Ravenclaw boy just as friendly acquaintances. The guy was nice enough and she knew him from several classes too. He asked her but once the dance started and he was supposed to meet her in front of the potions classroom, he never showed. She found out later that Sirius spread a rumor to him that she wanted to hex him for being a half blood on Halloween. Tamara didn’t even know he was one to begin with. 

The only consolation for that awful night was the fact that this severely pissed of Severus and Regulus that they hexed the Ravenclaw boy for standing her up but also got back at Sirius. Regulus slipped a potion in his punch to make his brother not be able to perform his sexual duties later that night with one of his Ravenclaw escapades. That got spread around the castle the next day and girls stopped flocking so much to the Gryffindor bad boy. Payback was surely a bitch sometimes.

Switching the subject, Tamara grinned at the boys giving them the best puppy dog eyes she could muster. There was no way in hell they were going shopping for school. 

“Oh my best guy friends in the world. You Slytherin kings. What exactly are you doing tonight?”

“Wouldn’t you love to know”, Regulus teased as he swung his arm over her shoulders. Severus gave a small glare to his friend, his lips pressed in a thin line.

“Oh I would love to know unless you guys are giving each other blow jobs behind Flourish and Botts than you can keep that to yourselves.”

She knew she was edging them on, she hoped it would help her in the end. The face of Severus pinched together in pure disgust as Regulus seemed to laugh it off. 

“He couldn’t handle me”, Regulus laughed giving Severus a wink. “He might need one soon though, boys been all sorts of grumpy. Maybe you can get him some help for that tonight at your little sleepover. I bet a girl there could suit his fancy.”

“Oh believe me there is a ginger that would instantly make his knickers drop...”

“Do you two have to be so vile? I don’t have time for childish shit. Regulus we are gonna be late to meet Lucius already.” 

“Sounds like a blast, meeting General Peroxide is it. Hope he doesn’t spank you for being late, he tends to be cranky.” 

Tamara’s response finally cracked a smirk from Severus as they found an building with a floo network. She followed the two boys as they said their goodbyes proceeding their way to Malfoy Manor. 

Before they threw the powder, Regulus shouted out, 

“Save a dance for me tomorrow.”

His grin still apparent as the powder took them away. 

The girl soon exited the shop as she looked around at the people walking all down the street. A clock lamp post above her shined the time of only five minutes shy of having to be at the McKinnon house. 

Tamara pulled out a small bag out of her back pocket, it instantly growing in size. Filled inside all the stuff needed for the sleepover including her new swim suit. The sun shone down on her as she hid in an alleyway. Suddenly as she came, a pop sound transported her at the gates of the McKinnon residence. 

Just like her apparating skills were to be hidden as it was forbidden to do so underage so was her nerves. If she was to be sleeping in the lion’s den tonight she needed some major Gryffindor courage.


End file.
